Saturday, October 29, 2011

It's in your eyes

Have not been very lucid in my everyday life recently. I feel like I'm whizzing through someone else's memories of shopping after school, eating decent dukbokki, spazzing out over cute boys in town and being slave to the internet. All of the above activities, I have done with Zoer because she's just an awesome hang-out buddy and we both conveniently live in the East.

However, in the next breath, I can say that I truly miss my old friends. Just today I committed a pretty bad example of flakiness. I didn't mean to be, but I completely forgot about my dinner plan with Cheryl and that's even after I complained to her about her not wanting to see me anymore because of other pre-occupations. Apart from the contradictions, I also feel really bad at the thought of her going home earlier when she'd planned to eat with me. I really wish I'd kept the plan in mind cos I do regret forgetting and skipping out on this opportunity to see her. It's been weeks, I think...

With this in mind, it seems nonsensical to talk about other happenings in school. What's the point of making new friends and flirting with man, woman, dog and cat if I can't properly take care of people I claim to be extremely precious to me?

It feel as if all the things that make me laugh and smile nowadays are just superficial, ephemeral moments. I feel like I might be content, but at the same time, dissatisfied because I'm content with just being who I am now. And in the next breath, I can be cursing myself for feeling like shit over insignificant worldly things. I'm not new to oxymoronic states of mind. But that doesn't mean that the having them aches me any less.

In some fleeting instances, a song can fill my heart to bursting. And with effect from rolling the windows of my mom's car down. Something anything makes me feel infinite.

If I could use the word "infinite" in any adjective phrase to describe me right now. It'd be "Infinitely Moronic". The word sandwich of this is "Inforonic".

Sunday, October 23, 2011

The subtle difference

It's probably a good thing that my sister bought me a tub of ice cream, two packs of ruffles and some Barcadi today aside from neatly and nicely cutting my hair because I feel like a wreck right now. I don't know when the bad mood started so I guess it just kinda crept up on me.

To all those who still bother coming here (wipes sparkling tear away), sorry for not updating and thank you for not giving up on me. I'm probably gonna post an update on my twitter whenever I update my blog so maybe you could follow me on twitter as well (@TheCalendarfish).

I just got a badly needed hair cut today by my sis because it's so convenient to sit on a stool on some Straits Times classifieds and stand up with hair 3 inches shorter without ever exerting yourself to brush your teeth or leave the house.

I start on Hip Hop for my Sport and Wellness module tomorrow and fuck my life, my classes start at 8am.

Shit I'm out of blogging motivation already. I'll be back and try harder next time. *sob*

Saturday, September 17, 2011

You've got the white then the black

Yesterday was began quite awesome. I awoke at around 11.40 and lazily dragged my ass to my mac to carry out my internet addiction routine. I'd completely forgotten but was immediately jolted awake when I saw Bonnie's status on my homepage where she declared her awesome GPA. The results were out and at this point I felt my heart start pounding out of fucking nervousness. I then spent 5 minutes trying to access my NPal account. For some reason, I couldn't get in through Google Chrome so i used Safari. And thereupon I logged in with much trepidation. "What if I completely fucked up Radio and pulled won all my potential As?" Radio was definitely my worst modules this semester, I'd never gotten a single A for any of the assignments and projects. But thank God, seriously. When I saw my result I thought my heart was gonna fall out of my mouth simply by beating too fast.

(I took out the screenshot of my grades cos the picture was way too small)
Exploring Contemporary Issues - A
Radio Production 1 - B+
Social Psychology and Communication - A
Speech Communication - AD
Written Communication - A

ZOMGGGGGGGG. I have never been so happy about grades before, but that's probably due to the fact I've never actually done really well for several subjects at once. All through Primary and Secondary school the only subjects I ever scored in were English and Literature. Having such a well rounded result really makes me want to weep. 3.9... I was aiming high, but actually getting the grade really caught me by surprise.

However, this also puts a great deal of stress on me cos the last thing I want to do now is do worse the next sem. I better treasure the rest of my holiday cos I'm gonna be pretty busy when mid october rolls around.

Naturally, I was super happy and stuff. The whole day went pretty well, I had a peaceful brunch with my mom and met Connie for dinner (did lame useless shit on the internet in between my meals) and finally got a pretty shitty piece of news. I don't want to talk about it on the internet because I don't trust people online and people do research about others on the www. However, I am mostly willing to tell people anything in person so go figure! hahahaha :D Let's just say I learnt a really good lesson.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

But I got him where I want him now

PARAMOREEEEEEEEEEE. I should have totally tried out for the Radio Heatwave contest to win concert tickets- that would've prevented this immense guilty weight sitting, in all its constipated glory, on my heart. You never know if you don't try, y'know. :(

I haven't been doing much aside from work an tetris battle, which I know sounds like a perfectly disgusting way to pass the time. My social life has come to a standstill because of my thirst for money. And I'm so addicted to tetris battle (even though I suck at it) that I've started to think in coloured blocks.

I don't know if this is a side effect of something going on in my life but I feel like my writing is deteriorating. Words don't come as easily to me and even in my daily life, putting my thoughts into words without using Singlish has become a heavier task than ever. Now I'm scared out of my wits because I really can't deal with losing some eloquence or other. That's one of the few characteristics I've ever found worthy about myself...

Enough talk about that, though, I'm looking forward to receiving my pay and splurging the fuck out of my wallet. Just the thought of retail therapy is therapy in itself, it gives me STRENGTH.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Prawn Aglio Olio

I returned from 10 hours of work just like half an hour ago and I am SO TIRED right now but I felt obligated to write a blog post for some unidentifiable reason. So yes, like I was saying, I worked probably like 10 hours today but take away 30 mins for break.

During my break I literally had the worst Yong Tau Foo ever when I went to eat with Black. My eggplant (I <3 Eggplant omg) was boiled in soup, not fried. And golly was it disgusting (even though still slightly tasty), gaaahh. Never mind that though, the absolute worst was the way they plopped my fried wonton into my soup where it soaked up like a sponge and turned into oily mush...

I enjoyed myself at work today, which is something I didn't see coming because I expected to be dead on my feet. I think I kept my energy up fairly and I really like all my co-workers. Everyone's nicer and way easier to talk to than in Cotton On. Nothing on the people in Cotton On, though it's probably just cos it was a much bigger store with the same number of people and therefore less chances to hang around each other.

Aside from that, I think the people who come in to my work place are quite varied and quite interesting. Today a party of 5 came in with 4 of them caucasian, among them was one who actually pouted at me and I'm thinking it's cos his Beef Lasagne took much longer to arrive than the food of everyone else and he kept looking wistfully at his friends. It's quite galling to have an almost 6 ft tall white man give you the puppy face in a long sleeved shirt and pants so I consider myself skillful for having kept my composure.

Also, the ADORABLE-ST family came in today during dinner. Both the parents are decently good looking and petite and good grief their children were so friggin cute even the son was kind overactive with the jumping everywhere and dropping Daddy's laptop bag on the floor. There was so much laughing and conversation despite the toddling youth of the kids, that I would've given anything to sit with them and feel part of that family just so I can somehow imagine what it must've been like for me in the past.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Chocolat: The Debut

Disclaimer: I can't think like a producer or real pop-culture critic, I can only speak for myself or others based on forum feedback so don't take me too seriously. If you see this post as the be all end all of outsider perspective on K-pop etc etc, then you are a moron and should go back to kindergarten.

I was just listening to this addictive new song while turning over some of the criticism in my head when it struck me that I should do a blogpost about it because... there's nothing new on the this page.

The group in question is Chocolat and their debut title song is Syndrome. I'm not gonna say anything about the song because I don't know anything about music and blah blah, so let's just talk about the video and live performances.

Because the agency seems only focused on introducing Tia. Let's talk about everything in terms of Tia (like algebra teehee!). But seriously, you see that girl with with the big eyes, small nose and fair skin? The one that the video opens with. Yeah in one with winged out eyeliner and a super bright inner corner highlight. Yes, of course you know her, because she's center and front in practically the ENTIRE video. I won't be surprised if someone actually bothered to do the math and arrived at the conclusion that Tia takes up 95% of the screen time.

It's not unusual for companies to use the ulzzang (best face/perfect face) of the group to as a strong visual draw for viewers. Look at SNSD, Yoona takes of centerstage a great deal even though she doesn't sing as much as Tiffany or dance as well as Hyoyeon. Humans are largely visual creatures so it's understandable if you wanna leave in their minds the impression that there's eye candy to be found in your group. But goodness, if you want to promote a GROUP you can't use one face so obviously much more than everyone else in the group that no one stays in front for more than a line. Tia danced through all the choruses in the front and that doesn't allow anyone else to leave an impression on the viewers.

And the live performances were pretty shit, I think. Tia is definitely a good dancer so far, as are the rest of them, but golly none of them can really sing live apart from Jaeyoon. Compared to the other rookie groups of 2011 like X-5 (my favourite) and B1A4 who both perform live wonderfully, Chocolat reminds me of Dal Shabet another rookie girl group who has been bashed several times for doing shit live performances cos everything is lip-synced and the parts they do sing are horribly off-tune.

From reading the comments on AllKpop, all this focus on Tia has already created her a reputation for being "full of herself" or thinking that "she's all that" even though the girl hasn't actually done her public interview! It's not a positive light to place her in and perhaps all this emphasis placed in her as the major group visual might cause her to inadvertently become self-important because she is after all only 14, by most standards fairly impressionable. This does not bode well for their public image.

And just as a little side note, I laughed a bit at the English in the lyrics cos there's a line "fill me up" that perhaps due to the Korean accent, sounds like "feel me up". Setting aflame the heart of all pedophiles, these girls. And the dance didn't remind me of anything until I saw a comment on youtube which said some about armpit washing (watch the chorus TROLOLOL)

My overall take: The debut song is super catchy and the visual and I honestly believe Tia isn't the only one worth looking at. I want more of Melanie, Jaeyoon, Soa and Julliene as well, so that I can warm up to their group identity and not see it as Tia ft. the Chocolats.

I thought this was quite fun, should I do more video reviews?
LOOK, the old blog skin is back! I couldn't stand that boring ass white one. So welcome back to the classic world of Fair with Freckles :) I think I will forever be too lazy to design anything for this site.

Hulla boolala

I've started to get the feeling that school might not be as long and dreary as I have always imagined it to be. I'm studying the best imaginable course for me (it would be even better if there was an element of literature) and the time it took to finish the first semester felt like nothing at all. Even back in Temasek when I was studying bullshit that I never considered important, time always seemed to skip along much farther and faster than I could keep up with. I was probably lying to myself whenever I said "I can't wait for this to end" because when it does end, I'm taken aback by the lack of warning for the onrushing emptiness. It's probably even worse now because those I consider closest to me are still caught up in their institutional commitments, a sad reminder of our staggered lives.

In the past five days, I've done nothing productive or in the least bit worth being proud of. I skipped for a grand total of eight minutes over 2 days, hula hooped for 4- that concludes my attempt at fitness this week. I also completed 130 chapters of manga in 2 days, prize for me? The only consolation I have been able to offer myself thus far is the prospect of income because I've gotten myself 2 jobs. They don't run concurrently, of course, that would kill me. And I expect that work will come to replace school the next several weeks.

My course has been fairly enjoyable so far, I'm still not the most efficient and effective person I can be but I believe I am improving. Hopefully the grades come out well too, I feel that I could've done better in most of the modules I took, but it's too late to say cos I will never take them again (I mean, I definitely didn't do badly enough to fail anything).

My manager is supposed to call me today to decide my roster but he hasn't :(

That's all I can think of to say now, will hopefully blog more from now on :)

Sunday, July 24, 2011


This working overnight thing makes me feel quite professional, like I'm really working for some company, trying to finish a project. Documentaries really aren't easy to make. :(